Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Surprise, Dennis!

As another semester comes to a close, and the bustle and activity of the academic year give way to the languor of summer, the tenants have plans to celebrate the foremost chronicler of life at Colson Hall. Regular followers of this blog will know--largely from his descriptions--that the tenants have become accustomed to an elegant lifestyle. We were so Downtown before Downtown was a “thing.” The North Tower with its dusty steamer trunks, the modern library of the East Wing, the Dining Halls and Solarium are all tastefully appointed, inspiring a sense of luxury as well as studiousness. And yet, like all landed gentry, we always have an eye for improvement. To that end, and in honor of a decade’s work as PhD supervisor, the tenants would like to formally announce that plans for the restoration of the West Wing of Colson include the Dennis W. Allen Salon (with pop culture annex).

The Salon has been renovated to keep out the drafts that once plagued its medieval stone (portions of the Hall having been the site of a 12th century abbey) and to afford many a cozy evening sitting by the fire perusing the leather-bound works of everything from Jacques Lacan to Jacqueline Susann.  The wine cellar has been newly stocked, and French doors afford easy access to the path through the poet’s garden down to the docks where the punts are moored. A gentleman’s valet will be in service round the clock, having been pulled from the WVU intern pool and promised credit hours.  Tenants are welcome to join Dr. Allen in the Salon, perhaps for the twice-weekly concert series--we hear the string quintet is creating a version of “Adrift on a Memory of Bliss.” But it is strictly requested that while visiting, no one give utterance to such phrases as “Degree Works,” “just a quick question,” or “Registrar.” 

Please join us in thanking Dr. Allen for his long service as our Sujet Supposé Savoir--if we invested him with the glowing aura of that role it is not simply because we understand him to embody its authority. Rather, it is because he has proven time and again so very worthy of our trust and our appreciation.
--Jess Queener


  1. I do hope the gentleman's valet will keep the riff-raff away. Dennis deserves a break.

    Thanks for the incredible job Dennis.

  2. Only Jessica Queener could work in an appropriate Lacanian reference!
    Thanks for all you do, Dennis. See you in the Salon!

  3. I think it's important to note that that's a gold-plated edition of Jacqueline Susann. Now, where is that valet-intern with the claret?

    P.S. Thanks you guys!