Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Real Graduate Students of Monongalia County

Anyone who's watched more than ten minutes of any of the Real Housewives shows knows that, in their pursuit of the spectacle of women arguing with each other, they tend to be fairly formulaic. While last week's EGO Bowl-a-thon took place thousands of miles from Orange County, there were nonetheless remarkable similarities (and a few points of divergence) between EGO's yearend celebration and these staples of Bravo's programming, viz.:

RH: shopping, gift bags, tickets are comped
Bowlathon: a wide assortment of raffle prizes, including attractively potted houseplants and some stunning jello aspic moulds; bowling and bowling shoes were comped

Status Competition:
RH: clothes, houses, competing fashion line launches
Bowlathon: The Jacket (the prize for the highest bowling score, with the EGO logo on the front and "Bowling Champion" embroidered on the back, either by French nuns or Rebecca Schwab)

RH: a key plot element--someone does not come to something they said they'd attend, giving a barely plausible excuse later
Bowlathon: Mary Ann claims that she was unable to attend because she had to travel to "a banquet" in another state

Trickery, Manipulation:
RH: another key plot element, evident in nearly every show
Bowlathon: Teresa Pershing keeps changing the eligibility requirements for winning The Jacket

RH: "Tardy for the Party"
Bowlathon: "Smack That"

RH: nouveau riche, tending toward the baroque
Bowlathon: Sycamore Lanes, tending toward carpeted walls

RH: the predominant psychological mode
Bowlathon: Bryan Coyle wins The Jacket and a thousand cellphone cameras go off at once. I can only speak for myself, but yes.

RH: constant
Bowlathon: not yet, but give me a few more days

1 comment:

  1. Dude,

    Carpeted walls are the new Dolce and Gabbana. I'm talkin' vertical shag, yo.